Every single day I have to catch certain buses, thing is every time I get on.. the same people is there.. not a problem..
I am reading my book.. in peace when I hear certain conversations which I cant help to listen to since the level of the voice is very high…
So I hear these people talking about a poor guy that works with them .. imitating his voice, cracking up saying he looks like some dog..trying to agree on a nickname..
When I look back.. I see these people are around 30 yrs of age..having a blast talking about this other person..
I don’t know what level of weird I am .. or what level of normality do I have..
But honestly when I sit in a cafe and I have a coffee and look outside, I find some people really dull..
Respect.. its basic for everything, for working for other people in general we should have respect for everyone their looks,decisions all..
I honestly get so disappointed..
as Nietzsche wrote once ” ..at one time we were monkeys and still men are more of a monkey than any monkey…” (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)
I don’t understand people and people don’t understand me…
I don’t find a guy screaming at the street some comment about boobs.. flattering.. (some actually do)
I don’t find a racist joke funny..
I think everyone has a space, and that space should be respected..
As soon as a person makes a change whether in the way he/she thinks… lives its life.. or a physical change..
that person gets pointed at .. talked about made fun off..
I find it so unnecessary ..
and this would be me rambling, about a topic some people agree with ..
I think we should try to learn more, read more, talk more, but do all this.. to make us a better person…
Sadly right now everywhere I look I find people that’s not interested in nothing but ¨have a good time¨.. when for them a good time is get waisted…have random sex.. and all this that are just plain not fulfilling for me in any way..
So then I think .. yes I don’t want to meet anyone, yes I try to read people before giving them any sort of trust…I’m protective with my few good friends..
I enjoy sitting on a table and speak of literature, speak of psychology.. drink coffee until a caffeine rush comes haha!
I’m happy in my own little circle , in my own corner of earth..
and I’m an antisocial because I really don’t want to mess with the rest..
I rather see them be happy because someone is ugly, or because their buttt look good in some jeans..because someone they didn’t like got fired..
These sort of happiness.. i will never understand..
14 Comments
January 10, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Hi Natalia
Looks like you are going thru a process of refining- your beliefs and values.
Stand firm on what you know is right ya… That’s what makes you special!
And you’re special
January 10, 2008 at 9:00 pm
Wow!
I’m glad I stumbled across this post. I feel like this every day but I stopped feeling like the odd-man-out or an outcast. I have learned that I rather be weird than be ignorant and typical.
The happiness everyone else in the world experiences is fleeting. That is why they insist on making free thinkers like us miserable. They can’t stand that someone has found a greater sense of fulfillment in life.
For me, the irreverent sense of humor is passable within the right circumstances but the blatant ignorance and mob-like behavior that often comes with it is what truly saddens me. You see, on their own, ignorant, aggressive people are nothing but, in groups, they feel empowered and virtually invincible. Americans worry so much about true terrorism yet the biggest terrorism is that which wages war against unique thoughts.
My feelings about the world have grown so strong that I know work for myself and refuse to go back to corporate America. The water cooler conversations, frat-like mentality, and biggotry are just not for me and they eat away at your soul until you become a zombie. I am fortunate to have somehow found the courage to pull away from that terrible world.
Wow.. Quoting Nietzsche.. Awesome.. and what a great coincidence! I have been on a sort of Nietzsche kick and happen to have “Thus Spoke Zarathustra” and “Will To Power” in my collection, amongst others. I really wish I could dedicate more time to reading and my passions in life but the hustle-and-bustle, the so-called necessities of life, always seem to distract us. When I *DO* get to sit down with these books, I feel nothing short of completely refreshed and awe-inspired – finally, someone with something worthwhile to say!
I definitely consider myself a hopeless romantic, in every sense. I think we would all do better to do what our heart tells us to do rather than trying to live up to the expectations of others. You see, for the majority of the world, mediocrity is fine. Go to school, watch the same shows as everyone else, laugh at the expense of others, wear and do trendy things, and you’ll be fine. Don’t think anything unique and, if you do, keep it to yourself or you may be ridiculed.
I believe it was Schopenhauer that said all truth goes through three phases. First, it is ridiculed. Then, it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as purely self-evident. This is what happens when people pioneer thought and put their creative powers to good use: they get ridiculed and beat up, metaphorically and literally. In high school, I was definitely the geek and I learned to embrace it. In college, I tried to join the crowd but it wasn’t for me.
The whole notion of having sex just for fun irks me. There’s nothing more sensual and stimulating than REALLY connecting with someone that gets you completely. To bed a stranger is weird. It takes away the true essence of sex which, to may, should symbolize a great bond.
Sadly, people surround themselves with sheep, thus turning into sheep themselves. These people foolishly call anyone they know a friend but, really, a true friend will appreciate you for who you are and not how “cool” you are. People are just afraid to think for themselves. It’s easier to adopt the ideas and goals of others than go with our own. The world lacks people of substance and true courage, I believe.
You are completely right: it is all so unnecessary. I am glad I have been removing all the needless things from my life. I’m much happier now. It’s tough being different but I wouldn’t have it any other way. You’re certainly not anti-social.. You just appreciate REAL human interaction, and not this superficial, materialistic stuff everyone else seems to settle for.
We should definitely chat sometime and share a cyber coffee or tea, perhaps. =o)
–Yomar (a.k.a. Yogizilla)
January 17, 2008 at 9:05 am
Sigh…you go through much of what I go through. In that manner, we are kindred spirits.
I personally have a hard time keeping old friends. Even though I may have spent a few months living in the same apartment building with other friends (be it male or female) and attending many social functions friends, I will be much surprised if they tell me that they enjoyed being around me. Perhaps it’s because I perceive myself as boring. I don’t know. But six months after our last time seeing each other, I will find it difficult to even reply to an email or a facebook wall post from one of those friends that consists of a greeting and perhaps at least a tentative invitation to visit that friend some place far away. I don’t know what’s wrong with me…sometimes I just feel…avoidant…maybe I’ve learned over such a long period of time to accept not being “normal” or “outgoing” that I’ve unconsciously learned to view replying to these greetings and invitations as “tiring” to reply to.
Just my $.02, hope I didn’t come off as a weirdo on your blog, hehe.
January 18, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Not a weirdo! same thing happens to me and then I feel bad afterwards there are friends I have to catch up with but I find it really boring.. to just go have coffee and talk about what’s new in life you know? nothing substancial.
Human Relations are strange, because I mean with facebook and all that stuff people actually get offended if you don’t answer of if you haven’t added them.. haha!It happens! ..
And mr A I guess we are another kind of lonely race!
February 6, 2008 at 2:38 am
another great post, with great comments. i find i relate more with people who are anti-social. i guess i’m a loner because i enjoy my own company! or … and i hate to admit it, like you said, most people are dull (?) well, here’s to being weird … cheers!
August 17, 2008 at 3:27 pm
Hi, great post. I was starting to think I was completely weird myself but have been cheered up now. Everyone I new from high school seems to be on Facebook, I could not understand this. Here I am thinking it is a complete waste of time and that maybe I am weird, but no, we are the normal ones. I would never have considered even using that damn website.
September 13, 2008 at 2:22 am
Ya….. I, myself, am this way and I dont know wether to be proud or ashamed of being this way or neither. I am getting tired of it. I dont know if it is that I focus too much on people´s errors or that those errors just overcome any great qualities that people may have. I cannot just run with the “crowd”. I dont like the “crowd”. This way of life is keeping me from meeting others. I wish there were more people like me but I guess there are a few of us and we are all disperced or some of us still have big errors that make a friendship incompatible. Being alone sucks and being with people one doesnt like sucks as well. And by the way, we are not “the normal ones”. We are all just different and that is what makes us all normal. It wouldnt be normal if we all thought and acted the same way.
September 27, 2008 at 7:20 am
Well, I just went to a party with my gf. And I have always felt out of place at these gatherings. I will never understand the average 21 year old, I’m 22 and I feel like I’m 75. I rather sit and talk about the world and the news, then have a beer and get drunk. My gf has the Ugly duckling thing where she has finally understood she is a great looking girl and is finally starting to get friends, which is great. But I don’t click with her friends, or the parties she goes to. (Think average 21 year old parties and you catch my drift) I’ve started the process of refinement and I don’t even click with most of my friends any more. I mostly sit at home on weekend writing on my computer, thinking why can’t i just be average. I can’t wait till I am no longer the outcast and everyone catches up to my tastes. It just sucks having no friends or people to talk to in real life about things that matter to me. (My gf is not the most tech/news person there is) This post made me feel a little less like an outcast so I wanted to say thanks for making me feel better
January 29, 2009 at 6:30 pm
yea this is a great post i always feel like that even when ppl do little things it annoys me greatly.I try to smoke and drink to let loose but i still feel outta place or some type of feeling i cant describe not that dont like meeting new ppl its just i dont really care that much to hear the same sad song and dance lol i mean i like bieng alone to the point but its just im weird io guess……
February 3, 2009 at 10:29 pm
Om nom nom. I smell denial!
February 5, 2009 at 9:11 pm
I am not all that sure if anyone has mentioned this, but your not anti-social. Anti-social is more along the lines of sociopaths…the psych term for psychopath. Now perhaps I am wrong, and you are (I certainly hope not). Your talking about a Schizoid personality.
Anti=Against
Anti-Social, detachment from feelings, does interact with people, but only as a means to get what they desire or need, humans are simply tools for them to find their goal.
Again, someone may have mentioned this already, but i didn’t see it. Not trying to be a downer or anything, just telling you some(such as me) thought you were a sociopath who had a blog, and i looked. Lol anyways, I’m glad things make you happy, definitely a sign of not being Anti-social.
April 12, 2009 at 2:28 am
I’m so glad I stumbled upon this blog. It’s made me feel not so unusual. I’m eighteen but feel eighty.
I can sit and talk to my grandma and have hours and hours of conversations, but it’s different with my peers. The things they do for a good time.. my good time is spent reading and learning. I’m so avodant towards parties and social gatherings. I can’t bring myself to answer my cell phone most of the time. Most say “Live it up, your only young once!” well, yeah thats true, but I don’t want to live it up the same way most of my peers do. So confused!!
April 12, 2009 at 2:31 am
I’ve gotten that advice too.. to take advantage of youth and such.. but I guess it depends on the path we want to take..
I agree in the grandma thing again so many things are out there that sometimes sit and talk about a band, clothing,gossip.. is just so empty..
We might be young but with older souls..
June 29, 2009 at 12:36 am
Ah, finally found a page where someone thinks somewhat same as me.
I´m a 22yo young man and I indeed do feel like a hundred years older. I remember that when I was 17, I realized I´m radically different than others of my age, no, different than 99% of people.
All my life I had been living around my dull, materialistic relatives. I basically lived for them, always tried to make decisions that I thought they would prefer. Of course I didn´t know it then, but at my late 20s my head was ready to explode.
I started to question everything about the society I´m living in. Maybe the first sign that made me very uncomfortable was that I hated being with people I had spent my whole life with. Not that I would hate THEM, I love them, but you know what I mean.
EVERYTHING nowadays is so superficial. Everything. Women prattle only about clothes, make-up, furnishings, looks, other people´s relationships etc.. Other men are only interested in money, business, WATCHING SPORTS, drinking, gambling..
*this paragraph is not so important, you can skip this*
This way I can charge my body and soul 100% when I´m at home, I don´t have to stress about anything else than maybe hygiene.
I speak a few words of some of these things:
-Clothes: Ok, I think its important to be clean and I don´t consider it stupid if someone has his/her own style. But, things you wear don´t really matter. I really can´t put it short how I think about this topic so I leave it be for now.
-Make-up: I really do think women look better without ANY makeup.
-Furnishings: I can´t understand how important this is for most people. They just cant relax at home, all they think about is “I need this I need that, that´s not the color, oh my god what are they gonna think of me if I have these here blabla”. My 13m2 of apartment contains only the core things I need, + a curtain
-Money: Is only a device, nothing more, nothing essential. I have seen on other people that too much money doesn´t bring any kind of happiness, it only kills your joy about little things and in the end you feel nothing at all.
-Sports: Oh my god I have hatred for this subject. In my (not so humble) opinion, going in for sports is very good for the sakes of your physical and mental health, but it really can´t offer anything else. Its hard to describe how I´m feeling. I´ve never watched a single whole sports event. Watching sports is just.. Stupid.. It kills your soul and makes you an idiot because if you do it, you aren´t aware of better…..
-Drinking: Ok, maybe it was a bit fun for me, but only for a year or so. Now I always pick a peaceful evening at home doing something I enjoy over a bar drinking madness. At the moment I drink about a beer per month.
- – — – – - – - – - — – – - – - -
When I talk with people, I very rarely enjoy it. I instantly sense when a person hasn´t found the same kind of awareness of his/her true being that I, luckily, think I´ve found. I find everyday chattering really frustrating. Its like being mentally in jail.
Their life is all about that constant rush. Its simply because of this: Our new materialistic world gives you so much opportunities to take bad influences, that most people get lost, and bad. Its hard for weak souls to tell the difference between real, meaningful, human life and commercial hell.
Luckily, without giving too much personal information, I think I´ve found meaning of my life
Though I´m so sad that I´m a bad writer. I just can´t put my feelings to text :/
This came too quick and I´m tired, damn its 3:30 in the morning!! Maybe I´ll write a better one later after I´ve piled up my thoughts a little.
I really enjoyed what other people have wrote here, it gives me hope that there´s still people left in this world.