A quote by Dr Seuss and a late night post..
I don’t even want to tell you what time is it ha! .. these days I’ve had such a hard time sleeping.. for some reason the nights are longer and I find myself awake when the sun is rising.. problem is I cant sleep until noon…So I look like a raccoon during the day
I go round and round..about many things.. I don’t know if this ever happens to you, you think about your problems, your life, what to do, what’s coming, or sometimes when you are really really excited about something you can’t sleep either..
Point is I can’t sleep… last night I got up at midnight to start a pendant , 2 hours later it was done.. and so was I .
These last 2 weeks I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about what I want then the other day found this quote online..
“I really think it’s important to be in a situation, both in art and in life, where you don’t understand what is going on.” ~John Cage
Right now I don’t know what’s going on.. I feel things are expected from me.. in the sense that for me to grow I have to do more than what I am doing.. I didn’t go to the design fair because of the trip and because I felt pressured.. I don’t like being pressured , some people mention my work should be outside in a REAL store.. all these things that I don’t see myself doing
An online business is kind of like being in a spotlight.. everyone can see what you do and don’t do and it’s a part of it.. I like people really seeing who I am , where I am coming from.. people I adore and also people who judge
There is one thing.. I am the kind of person that could care less about many things.. you can come to my house and talk away about what’s missing, you can mess with me and anything about me.. but when someone messes with what I do I feel weak and try not to get teary eyed..
I’m very sensitive with it..because it was really hard getting here
I don’t see myself like an artist, I have a very small group of friends , I don’t go out much but when I go out I go out all night, I sometimes sit on my bench and have no idea what to do, the term designer is used too much every were and I don’t see myself as claiming to be a magnificent designer .. when I really think we all have it inside us.. You see where I’m going with this?
I feel blessed that’s it and when the world pushes you to pretend you are something you are not .. it’s complicated..
And I get quite confused…
One day I had this guy asking me what kind of jewelry I made..”contemporary?? ” .. I said I made whatever comes from the top of my head ..
He of course gave me the face that said ” You are not a professional” …
I once got told I have a “hippie approach” with my descriptions for each piece being wayyyy too long bla bla
I mean sorry If I don’t act like a princess, like a designer, if I don’t speak in a professional way, if I can’t present a piece..
I feel better just by writing this and letting it all out and I am going to bed as soon as this is published
I’ll keep my current rhythm, doing what I do and specially ignoring everything around me that can somehow hurt me and wait for this to pass…