On an assault, Ying Yang, going crazy , voodoo and meditating on perfection while eating chocolate

Today I sit here and I have a question, because I don’t know if it’s just me, that I have some person that hates me and does voodoo on me, or maybe Karma it’s hunting me..

But well , I often get this feeling that when things are going great, I’ll get killed by a truck, well maybe not AS dramatic, but I do have the feeling that something it’s going to happen to make things not work. Insecurity? I know..

Then again sometimes it’s our own fears that makes us spoil things, I’m a strong believer that if you are a pessimist bad things come your way, and if you are positive. well you know..

Why all this ramble? I’ve had the worst week recorded on my life, last week was just a rush of emotions all things at once I bursted..Why?

Well I was going to rent a house, beautiful house perfectly what I needed and super cheap , so the landlord tells me he wants me to live there and that he will call me next Friday.

Thursday I get assaulted, random man tries to get my bag, pushes me and well he only got the Ceil I had in my hand.. So I got no phone.. landlord was meant to call me the next day, I had absolutely no way to reach him, and I bursted and cried and cried in the middle of the road it’s just impossible, in 2008 first this now again?

Too much next day I walk like a zombie on the street, I get to an internet cafe and I leave my usb key there I go back and the asian man says he didnt see it. Gone too.

So all weekend I spent in my bed being sad thinking and thinking why when all things seem right something comes to spoil it.. and I’m still mad but the only thing I could think that mademe feel better is that life is not perfect.. and as soon as you are reaching that PERFECTION point something has to happen to balance you.

So I’m sad these days.. but i’ll get over it.. chocolate and going to class will fix me to go backto the workaholic, non sleeping madwoman I am..

 

Winter, 1931-1932 from The Diary of Anaïs Nin

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book(Lady Chatterley, for instance), or you take a trip, or you talk with Richard, and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom(when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this(or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death.” The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume One 1931-1934

Luka..what love is all about..

He puts balls of plasticine in the wall then gives each one a sound…an plays a song poking each ball..

All Holidays are his birthday.. and he must blow all candles he sees…

He says thank you and please…

I told him to blow to make the trees move.. and he did.. then showed everyone in the house what he could do..

We speak cow language.. they never get anything unless you wave at them..

Theres a song and a little dance everytime he gets chocolate..

He steals cellphones and talks with strangers..

When he gets mad..he GETS mad…

He sometimes turns into a kitty…(loves cats)

He chokes the cat while screaming ” GATITOOOO” .. (while the cat secretly weeps )

Any place with a pillow is good for naps..

He calls everyone “mommy” when he needs to call the attention

Everytime he sees me he runs and kisses my bellybutton..

For these and so many other things how could I now be at his feet?

.. For me this is what love is all about.

My little brother..